but not in the way that I could write a song about it.
It's more of a surpressed insecurity that will stay with me for the rest of my life and for the rest of that time I'll probably be looking to other people to validate my existence to make up for what I've lost.
Only no one can no that because that makes me weak and therefore... worthless
Don't cry, only people who aren't good enough cry.

Hmm I can't really tell if anything's changed. I don't think so yet, maybe this second part of the summer is when everything changes. I met Matt's great aunt and uncle. She has one lung and he plays bluegrass, they're pretty cool I guess. I can't wait for IU and I really can't wait for New York.

Hanging around, nothing to do but frown, rainy days and mondays always get me down...

Everyone is graduating

Or leaving


but me.

I realized...
I will never win an argument with you
because I will never be like you
but you will never change me.

Too bad this doesnt matter anymore

Well its the last day of school. That's sort of exciting. I'm glad for change at least. Also I'm gonna start meditating today to be ready for camp! That sounds strange but you'll understand I think...

I suppose I expect you to at least try to make things better
you never do, you know?
You promise but you always make things worse
The people around you make things worse

we got chinese food and promised ourselves a challenge